EVE PANDORA - Spyke Luntzul
u' It is said that if you put your ear to a wormhole in its last stages of life, Bob will grant you visions and dictate prophecies rivaling the length of a feature article penned by James 315.
The most common of these \u201csacrifices\u201d takes the form of a strange ritual in which the supplicant is advised to self-destruct a shuttle 0 kilometers from a star \u2013 which is usually the one in the supplicant\u2019s home system. Social dictum holds that the vessel\u2019s cargohold should be laden with a combination of Exotic Dancers, ammunition, drugs, and Quafe. While few will admit to it, most capsuleers avail themselves of the creature comforts packed into their cargo holds to have an orgy that would make the ancient Caligula blush.
Another strange ritual involves ransoming pilots who fly particularly expensive ships. You cannot simply buy your way out \u2013 ISK simply will not do. The unfortunate soul is usually forced to sing. Depending on the performance, one may either be released unmolested, or molested and released, or simply blown up anyway. Why? Because \u201cBob Wills It!\u201d. And Bob enjoys emotional scars. One \u201cofficial\u201d text, written in purple crayon on construction paper, states: \u201cScars are tattoos with stories\u2026\u201d. The rest of the text was obscured by crudely drawn ponies, globules of glue mixed with glitter, and uncooked pasta assembled to look like a portrait of Gary Busey.
The easiest way that Bob has sought fit to handle the touchy topic of leadership is for his devoted followers to simply make up grandiose titles for themselves. These people often pontificate. Loudly. They will also vehemently declare anyone with a larger, and more self-aggrandizing title, to be a heretic that will surely suffer the Wrath of Bob. It is then customary to hunt each other down in anger and settle the religious disagreement with righteous gunfire.
In the aftermath of the exchange, somewhere, in the dark corners of W-space\u2026
Bob smiles.
My claim to fame in Eve
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